narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

mayitadoll:

discrace:

The devil doesn’t come dressed in black cape, red skin and pointy horns. He comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.

This scares me…

seinfelcl:

how dumb is it that we’ve created words we arent supposed to use